A Friend Wins

You were together and then something happened and rather than being together you are exes and you may keep asking:  Can I get my ex back?  No one can answer that question with any certainty.  The reasons why you broke up, how friendly the two of you have stayed since the break up and other things all have a lot do with whether or not it’s possible to get back together.

If you’ve stayed friendly and you haven’t insulted each other, the chances of you getting back together are much better than if things had gotten ugly.  But even if the breakup was bad, people can forgive and set aside those hurt feelings if they try hard enough.

A question that both of you need ask yourselves is, “was this relationship worth preserving?” If you think the relationship is one that you believe you want restored then the question “Can I get my ex back?” makes sense.

And then you can ask your closest friends who probably know both of you quite well as well as a lot about your break up situation for advice on the matter.  But unless they’ve broken up with someone and gotten them back, they really don’t know the secrets of restoring relationships.

They might think you’re foolish when you ask them, “Can I get my ex back?”  But maybe they think you shouldn’t want your ex back in the first place.  It’s hard for them to be supportive if you do want your ex back, if they never liked him or her to start with.

Take all the advice you can get, but remember that not all of it is good advice.  Beware of any extreme advice, like people telling you that you should just date several people or start another relationship to make your ex jealous. Jealousy could lead to your ex deciding to let you go, since you give the appearance that you’re already moving on.

When you ask some people, “Can I get my ex back?” they might encourage you to have many casual relationships and to forget about your ex.  The decision is yours, but your goal is to not do anything to drive your ex farther away.  Your ex finding out that you’ve slept with one or more people while you’ve been trying to get them back isn’t going to help your case.

The only truly honest answer to the question, “Can I get my ex back?” is maybe. To give yourself the best chance of getting back together with your ex, you need to make them miss you.  You don’t have to date other people or make them jealous to do that.

Just be the best “you” you can be when you’re around them. We all like to be around pleasant, happy and friendly people.  Be a good friend, be positive and helpful.  Once you’ve made it clear you want another chance, trust that your ex knows that and has it on their mind.

Be the best person you can be when you’re around your ex, even if it’s hard.  This will help them remember the reasons they fell in love with you in the first place.

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